North Carolina

I went to North Carolina to visit John this weekend. This was our third and final trip. Third as in like we actually got three girls together, with all our girly shit, and drove for 12 hours! We started talking about it on the our way up there. It's like we're just getting in the car and going! Just like we were going to a friends house or something, or going to the grocery store. It had become a part of our life.

These trips have meant a lot to me because I might have crawled out into oncoming traffic if I hadn't gotten to see John and secondly I have gotten to be wonderful friends with 2 girls who's husbands are going to Iraq with John.

All these trips have been wonderful because it kind of allowed me to get away for a while. The entire 12 hours we spent driving we talked about everything, as anyone would expect women to do. We talked about how we felt about this deployment, we talked about how in our opinion the Marines have changed us and them, how scared we were, how angry we were, and how ultimately, we all wished this wasn't happening. When we got to North Carolina, being with John again was almost surreal and the fact we were in a different place and holy shit it was Thursday and I was not at work! All of it just made it seem like it was going to be ok. I remember waking up Saturday and being so happy because I had all that day and all day Sunday, everything was gonna be ok. It's insane how you can live on one weekend for so long. Between the weekends we went up there, I did nothing but think about the things we did the last time and counting down the days until we left again and that kept me going. It's like you have to stuff 2 weeks worth of stuff into one weekend to make up for the lost time away from each other. Like you feel like you can't just let go for a second because you might miss something, like you feel guilty for even sleeping because your wasting time with that person, valuable time that will never get to be replaced. Time that you know will have to be well spent enough for you to make it to the next time around. Time that you know on Monday morning will end abruptly and you will be tossed back into the real world, where you're alone again.